4th & Forever » NBA

Top 10 Weight Room-Challenged NBA Players

Checkit — Wed, 26 May 2010 04:50:53 +0000

While contemplating the 2010 Celtics’ stunning void of imposing physiques…or, more pointedly, the impressive collection of unimpressive bodies they are able to run out on the parquet floor at any given moment, it inspired us to compile a Top 10 List of CURRENT NBA players who eschew the weight room…apparently at all costs. We chose current players, because we think visiting the gym must have been the exception for generations past, when lifting was out, but belts were in.

Without further ado, and in no particular order, we give you our Top 10 Weight Room-Challenged NBA players…

10. Paul Pierce. AKA “The Truth”. The truth is, he could stand to lift a few weights. He was almost excused from this list because he got stabbed in the face in 2000. He must be a badass…even though some contend he was faking those injuries as well.

9. Brian Scalabrine. Though this list is in no particular order, Brian was #1 on our “Top 10 NBA guys who look like Michael Rappaport“. He actually came in as numbers 1 – 9 and Matt Bonner finishing the list at #10.

8. Jared Dudley. Somehow this guy went on the Steve Nash No Sugar diet and got even softer since college. And the backstreet beard isn’t helping angulate that jaw. At all.

7. Rudy Fernandez. Can someone please send us a pic of this guy firing up a cigarette during a timeout? We know something like that exists.

6. Zach Randolph. ZeRo is not his bodyfat %.

5. Marc Gasol. Marc wins this battle of the Gasol brothers everytime. Kudos though, it appears Marc trimmed up a bit this season. And got himself McConaughey hair do to match his new physique.

4. Chris Kaman. Not even sure what to say. At least the hair went. Well it went a while back, we should say at least the haircut (or lack thereof) went. We would gladly take Kaman on our team, however.

3. Mehmet Okur. Will someone get this guy a Mehmo about where to find the gym? He’s no Ostertag, but someone had to carry on the soft, Utah Jazz center position tradition.

2. Charlie Villanueva. Not this Villenueva, who we are fairly sure works out… Alopecia is an excuse for wearing a headband to board meetings, but no excuse for being puddingy.

1. Sheed. His game is pretty soft now too.

So, those are our ten. Please feel free to chime in if you feel we’ve missed someone who may have missed a few workouts.

What’s in a name, my Precious?

Checkit — Thu, 20 May 2010 15:13:26 +0000

You’d like to think one has to achieve something, anything, at the highest level to be given a nickname. That, or something equally dubious. “Wilt the Stilt” has done both. Evidently, as this faily comprehensive list of NBA nicknames points out, you don’t often have to do much.

We say “fairly comprehensive” because though it has “The High-Ayatolla of Slamola” assigned correctly (we assume) to Larry Nance, it has some glaring omissions like “Pale Rider” for Keith Van Horn. Maybe if a murderer gives you a nickname it doesn’t count.

We think the best one on this list may be the nickname supposedly bestowed by “The Round Mound Of Rebound” to Sam Cassell, and that is: “Gollum”. We were always kind of partial to Ant Man, until reading that. It is kind of rough, because, admittedly, Cassell’s game is one of our all time favorites.

Please supply us with any nicknames you like, but didn’t see on the list.

Craig Sager’s Top 10 Worst Suits

Checkit — Tue, 18 May 2010 20:29:51 +0000

Craig Sager never ceases to amaze the staff here at 4th & Forever. We were watching the Suns vs. Lakers (Fuck Kobe) last night, and our jaws dropped when we peeped his black and white plaid blazer with a ruffled pocket square and decided today would be dedicated to Craig Sager image searchers. Please enjoy the Top 10 Worst Suits worn by Craig Sager. And please, if anyone has some insight as to what drives this mans wardrobe decisions, please chime in.

Carmelo gets no love from the refs. Traveling? Back in time? Come on.

Checkit — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 23:12:36 +0000

This article breaks it down quite nicely…some guys get away with tampering with the fabric of our dimension, some guys do not. Some guys can double dribble through the time-space continuum, others will assuredly get whistled.

What Birdman drives when he isn’t flying.

Checkit — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 16:32:18 +0000

This video courtesy of “Ahmad Squad”, yes that Ahmad…Mr. Clair Huxtable, is sort of painful, but worth watching if you like Birdman at all. We do. We made a tee about him. Unfortunately, you may need to draw in his new wispy mustache as it has come after the tee was designed. That is the danger of trying to capture an evolving icon such as he…it becomes an obsolete snapshot of the past with each new tattoo.

Anyway, just watch the video and tell us his “car” isn’t somehow absolutely perfect.

What’s in a name?

pourfavor — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:51:08 +0000

4th & Forever just heard that the contemporary version of Vinny “The Microwave” Johnson, Denver’s JR Smith, has changed his name to Earl. Earl Smith III, no less. Can you imagine getting dunked on by someone named Earl? Maybe run over, like Earl Campbell, or dished on like The Pearl, but dunked on? We like it, though are leery after a former NBAer also named JR changed his name to Isaiah to distance himself from a troubled past…and then promptly flying-ninja-kicked a lady in the back at Hooter’s in the Mall Of America and later, in a separate incident, was arrested and did time for kidnapping. Isaiah, it appears, is “FRESH” out on bail. Sorry, that was a bad pun on kind of an awesome name for an ABA team.

Ambition+Love for sports+Mad free time =

pourfavor — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 18:33:58 +0000

We stumbled across this collection of self-produced hip hop sports videos last night. Not sure what to say, but encourage you to take a look. Paul is evidently a Puget Sound alum and Tacoma native. Go Loggers.

Fuckobe

pourfavor — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 23:14:06 +0000

4th & Forever 4th & Forever would like to thank “It Goes To 11″ for posting / celebrating / analyzing the Fuck Kobe shirt. They considered it on a much deeper level than we ever did, and we appreciate the keen insights.

http://www.founditemclothing.com/itgoesto11/for-the-near-future-i-am-the-biggest-orlando-magic-fan-ever-5-shirts-for-laker-haters