Without further ado, and in no particular order, we give you our Top 10 Weight Room-Challenged NBA players…

10. Paul Pierce. AKA “The Truth”. The truth is, he could stand to lift a few weights. He was almost excused from this list because he got stabbed in the face in 2000. He must be a badass…even though some contend he was faking those injuries as well.

9. Brian Scalabrine. Though this list is in no particular order, Brian was #1 on our “Top 10 NBA guys who look like Michael Rappaport“. He actually came in as numbers 1 – 9 and Matt Bonner finishing the list at #10.

8. Jared Dudley. Somehow this guy went on the Steve Nash No Sugar diet and got even softer since college. And the backstreet beard isn’t helping angulate that jaw. At all.

7. Rudy Fernandez. Can someone please send us a pic of this guy firing up a cigarette during a timeout? We know something like that exists.

6. Zach Randolph. ZeRo is not his bodyfat %.

5. Marc Gasol. Marc wins this battle of the Gasol brothers everytime. Kudos though, it appears Marc trimmed up a bit this season. And got himself McConaughey hair do to match his new physique.

4. Chris Kaman. Not even sure what to say. At least the hair went. Well it went a while back, we should say at least the haircut (or lack thereof) went. We would gladly take Kaman on our team, however.

3. Mehmet Okur. Will someone get this guy a Mehmo about where to find the gym? He’s no Ostertag, but someone had to carry on the soft, Utah Jazz center position tradition.

2. Charlie Villanueva. Not this Villenueva, who we are fairly sure works out… Alopecia is an excuse for wearing a headband to board meetings, but no excuse for being puddingy.

1. Sheed. His game is pretty soft now too.

So, those are our ten. Please feel free to chime in if you feel we’ve missed someone who may have missed a few workouts.

You’d like to think one has to achieve something, anything, at the highest level to be given a nickname. That, or something equally dubious. “Wilt the Stilt” has done both. Evidently, as this faily comprehensive list of NBA nicknames points out, you don’t often have to do much.

We say “fairly comprehensive” because though it has “The High-Ayatolla of Slamola” assigned correctly (we assume) to Larry Nance, it has some glaring omissions like “Pale Rider” for Keith Van Horn. Maybe if a murderer gives you a nickname it doesn’t count.

We think the best one on this list may be the nickname supposedly bestowed by “The Round Mound Of Rebound” to Sam Cassell, and that is: “Gollum”. We were always kind of partial to Ant Man, until reading that. It is kind of rough, because, admittedly, Cassell’s game is one of our all time favorites.

Please supply us with any nicknames you like, but didn’t see on the list.

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