R.I.P. Sonics

Clay Bennett, former Seattle Supersonics owner but not Seattle denizen, has agreed to settle a class-action lawsuit brought against the team formerly (and affectionately) known as the Sonics by the good people formerly known as Sonics Fans. These season ticket holders argued that Bennett had agreed to allow them to renew their season tickets at 2006-07 prices all the way through 2010.

No one was living under the illusion that these fans were considering following the team’s move from that backwater armpit in the pacific Northwest known as the Emerald City, to the progressive, forward-thinking bible-belt-burg of OKC. Rather, these Seattle fans were planning to invoke the rich Native American history associated with Oklahoma (cultural sensitivities be damned), and intended to scalp (not scalp) the tickets at a higher price to the basketball-starved fans of the dust bowl. That’s right Joads, those slick left-coasters are going to sell you tickets at face value and still make a fat profit. Put that in your corncob pipe and smoke it. That would have been, at the very least, a nice farewell FU to the new regime.

That was, of course, until Clay Bennett backed out of the agreement. Hence the lawsuit. And the tentative settlement. There were about 1,000 fans in the class-action suit. Considering the attorney fees, which I assume run 30% at least, that would mean about $1,120 per fan. That’s bullshit. And it doesn’t help matters that OKC is flooring a team now that is easily the most watchable since Payton had Kemp doing chin-ups on the rim every other time down the court. That is the proverbial salt in the wound.

Well take solace Seattle, we’ve got a Sonicless in Seattle shirt just for you. I mean, you’ll always have Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. Clay can’t take that away from you. No one can. You are the unofficial official Rom Com capital of the world.